Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash

Keep the kids focused and occupied with a useful chore.

Photo by Andres Siimon on Unsplash

Step 1: Shut off your house’s main circuit breaker

Cutting the power will immediately get their attention. Run into the family room where they’ll be complaining about the TV suddenly turning off. Tell them the electric company is after you because you couldn’t afford to pay your bill, so it’s time to dig up Great Uncle Wallace. Point to…

Don’t listen to those haters who say social media can’t bring you real happiness.

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

First Prize: “Hunting at Night” by “Hollerin’” Hank Hennessy of Langley, Washington and his “Cluck of the Irish” white chicken chili

Second Prize: “Abstract Heckhole” by Kenny Wishbone of Mooresville, North Carolina and his hybrid black bean Cincinnati chili “Shazazmo!”

Third Prize: “Stuckey’s Napkin Manifesto” by Betty Van Specht of Huntington, West Virginia and her goat-based Texas-style chili “Chunky Chupacabra”

All prizes will be awarded upon publication.
All chili has been eaten and the…

Andy Spain

Video editing/motion. Humor writing @ McSweeney’s, Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, et al. Debut novel CASH GRAB forthcoming this fall from Humorist Books.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store