H.P. Lovecraft Critiques His Mother’s Improvised Quarantine Meals

Photo by sheri silver on Unsplash

Day 3: Salad of chicory, bulgur wheat and eggplant
“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.”

Day 9: Tofu loaf with raisin and olive compote
“Ultimate horror often paralyses memory in a merciful way.”

Day 14: Soy milk soda bread
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.”

Day 19: Cheerio encrusted Brussels sprouts
“Unhappy is he to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness.”

Day 22: Loaf of scrapple with Sweet Ray’s Hawaiian Style BBQ sauce drizzle
“Wise men have interpreted dreams, and the gods have laughed.”

Day 27: Zucchini boats stuffed with chia and flaxseed
“I beheld such a sight as I had never beheld before, and which no living person can have seen save in the delirium of fever or the inferno of opium.”

Day 31: Instant mashed potato whipped with instant tapioca pudding
“The basis of all true cosmic horror is violation of the order of nature, and the profoundest violations are always the least concrete and describable.”

Day 39: Vegan ‘potted beef’
“From even the greatest of horrors irony is seldom absent.”

Day 42: Stew of buckwheat, lima bean, and fennel
“If I am mad, it is mercy! May the gods pity the man who in his callousness can remain sane to the hideous end!”

Day 46: Meatless chili of black-eyed pea and ketchup
“Blasphemously surviving nightmares squirm and splash out of their black lairs to newer and wider conquests.”

Day 52: Smoothie of beet, mustard green and blackstrap molasses
“The odour rising from the newly opened depths was intolerable.”

Day 58: Saltine cracker with anchovy and Easy Cheese dollop
“No new horror can be more terrible than the daily torture of the commonplace.”

Day 67: Hamburger Helper Deluxe Beef Stroganoff, sans beef, sans noodle
“It is best not to exist at all.”

Video editing/motion. Humor writing @ McSweeney’s, Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, et al. Debut novel CASH GRAB forthcoming this fall from Humorist Books.

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