I Still Lack the Accent

Photo by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels

I was 8 years old, splashing in the public pool near my grandmother’s house. A friendly boy swam over and asked me, “What do you lack?”

My puny brain ground to a halt. Shelter? Food? Clothing? Nope. Got all those. What do I lack? Like, what’s missing from my life?

I hadn’t really thought about it before.

The boy glanced around anxiously, likely confused as to why I continued to stare at him, jaw open, without answering.

“What do you lack?” he asked again, this time adding, “I lack Ninja Turtles. Do you lack Ninja Turtles?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I like Ninja Turtles, too.”

That’s when I realized that being born in the Deep South without an accent made me the weird one.

Video editing/motion. Humor writing @ McSweeney’s, Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, et al. Debut novel CASH GRAB forthcoming this fall from Humorist Books.

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